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Hello everyone! I'm so sorry i have been gone again. Everything has just been so hard lately. I am at 114lbs again, so i need to get to 112 by monday hopefully. But i am on my period so that messed things up. I binged today and i had been doing really well too. I purged and exercised blah so hopefully i'm okay. I probably will gain, i don't really want to get on the scale tomorrow... I have been pushing everyone further away again and my mother is on my back like a hawk i'm like fly away okay. I am still having axiety attacks ect. I have exams this year and the pressure for that is just sending me crazy. I am crazy really. I do feel motivated though, even though i binged today, i feel like i am finally getting somewhere. I just need to be 110 by december, if i'm not well i will just want to die. Just a short update because sometimes the longer you leave posting the more you have to say and i don't want you guys getting bored. Bekah xxx

Sorry for being so distant lately. So this boy is like got some sort of sexual frustration because that is all her talks about! I have to say i'm not going to be getting into bed with him because of several reasons. He told me he really liked me today, with many other compliments. I don't believe any of them. I feel like he is lying to me, doing it out of sympathy you know? So today i purged outside of my own house today for the first time today. It was pizza. The boys house i was at today, well he was offering around food and he basicly shoved it down my throat. I almost cried. I had a really bad day today, binge wow. I feel like thats all i ever talk about, me binging and failing all the time. Tomorrow is a new day, lets go a week without binging okay? Bekah xxx