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So here are my new goals for 2013: I am currently 114 lbs and i am counting 2 pound gain at Christmas. End of January - 108 lbs End of February - 102 lbs End of March - 98 lbs End of April - 95 lbs End of May - 93 lbs End of June - 90 lbs Food plan: Eating clean, allow ONE treat on fridays, calories MUST be lower than 700, if more MUST be exercised off, NO purging, NO binging, IF binge does occur, MUST cut your self, i deserve it, NEVER eat when alone. EXERCISE (weekdays): 30 minutes of yoga EVERY day, 10 minutes if stationary bike EVERYDAY, Abletics up to 6. (Weekends): 10 minutes cross trainer, 10 minutes stationary bike, 30 minutes yoga, Abletics up to 10. Add me on myfitnesspal, and keep track of my progress: Rebecca_28. This new plan won't begin until New year.

I am sick of it. Sick of all this fat. Sick of all this food. I am sick of being sick. SO FUCK IT. Fuck fat, fuck food, fuck everything. I am ready to give up on my comforts. My exams until January are DONE. Yes i know i have to revise, but these christmas holidays are the perfect time to lose some pounds. I am going to start YOGA! Yes! I am so excited! I'm also thinking of running again! I will get mother fucking abs and when i do i'll post a lovely picture of them! So plan is in the holidays: 30 mins yoga 20 mins cycling/running (need to build it up so i don't die haha) 50 squats (3 sets) Up to 6 ablectics. Food around 700 calories (high i know but it is to prevent binges and i will slowly get to under 500 again) What do you think? I like my plan to be honest! Of course this won't apply of christmas day which is going to drive this whale fucking crazy! AGJSNlandjxna! Guys i made 2000 followers on Instagram! I can't believe it! So go follow me if you like, @tearsof...

Last night, where to fucking begin. It was crazy, i got so drunk. So drunk i could barely stand, or keep my head up. I also had a pee in front of several people and puked 3 times. Oh did i mention that i kissed not one but two people last night. When i say kiss i mean like tongue in throat. Like what. I don't even know. One of them was the boy that i have been on and off for a while, but the other i haven't spoken to him in forever! I was completly taken advantage of. It is very embarrassing. It is funny i'm not going to lie but wow. And i was still a little drunk this morning and texted the other boy! I was fucking flirting and i don't even like him really. I am such a slut. I have most certainly paid for it today, so hungover. I ate so much today it is sickening. Gah i hate myself so much right now. I hope everyone else had a calm and peaceful saturday night! Bekah xxx

No progress. 4 pounds lighter but no difference. Ew. Quick update so yeah i'm going now, wish me luck for tonight, i'm nervous! Bekah Xxx

Hey! Thanks for your comments on my last post! Anyways, this week has been good food wise and i have lost 4 pounds. Yes i am back to weighing myself everyday sorry! I have been around 500 calories all week, which i know is a lot of calories but it has saved me from binging. I am also a week free of purging YAY! I have a party tomorrow night. I am so nervous! I am nervous because there will be alcohol and that has calories, ew. Also i get drunk way too quickly. So god knows what sort of state i'll be in. I am also trying to avoid this boy, we have been on and off for a couple of month. Blah like we just always end up together at things like this. So tomorrow i want to fast until i have to go to the party. But i guess that ain't happening because i am spending the day with my sister. UGH. So tomorrow i will probably break my purge freeness. I should really be more positive but i can't oh well. Omg the weirdest thing just happened. I went to log on here and i went on to the pa...

I am really down right now, i just feel so shit. Today was sort of okay with food, bleh. But my mother changed food plans at the last minute and it pissed me off because everything was perfectly planned out. She then tried to give me bread, which is my biggest food fear, so i stuffed it up my sleeve. It's a new thing i've got into which is just as addictive as everything else i do that is bad. So here it goes, my progress pictures of 2 weeks and it's shit. I'm a gross fat fuck. I probably blinded y'all sorry. Bekah Xxx

LOL, I AM SUCH A FAT WHORE STILL. I am sick of being in this fucking rut of getting fatter.I have composed some new rules. 1) All voluntary eating MUST be healthy. (fruits, veg, even yogurt) 2) All involuntary food must be eaten at very small amounts. 3) No binge eating 4) If you even think of eating outside of the meal plan/calorie intake, MUST do 10 crunches. 5) If craving food, drink 1 liter of water. 6) Only if food cravings are so bad and you have been in net calories of - numbers in 4 days, allow a mug of hot chocolate or milk (soya) 7) If you even slightly go out of the meal plan/calorie intake, you will cut your self. (i'm too fat to recover) 8) There is always something else to do rather than eat fatty! I suck at life okay? If anyone wants to give me some good low calorie meals, comment below please! I am vegetrain so no meat! I will love you forever! Hope y'allare doing better than i am! Stay strong! Bekah xxx