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Hello. Today has been a roller coaster. I started my day off with binging and purging twice, then self harming a lot. I then searched the whole house for any medication that hasn't been hidden and I found 4 ibuprofen, not enough. So I am currently holding on to them so I can take them with more stuff nearer the date. Well after that my therapist shows up and we do this shitty collage thing. While today the collage she mentions hospital to me again and she says that she thinks it will really benefit me right now as I'm obviously really struggling and the date is fast approaching. She basically talked me through what inpatient is like blah, blah, blah. Also because of my medication drama I need to be monitored in case I go manic,yay. Well after she left I binged and purged again. I purged blood but I couldn't give two shits about that right now. Oh and tonight I had to go out to a fucking meal with my friends. Can you sense how enjoyable that was for me? Dinner was awful, I c...

Hello. Today has been really tough. It's been very warm here in England and I've spent the majority of my day inside. That's because my whole body is covered in self harm scars. That means I'm unable to wear summer clothes. I have to say I get a lot of weird looks when I go out in jeans and a jumper. I mean it's not like I'm warm either because a lovely side effect to eating disorders is that you're cold all the time. Well that isn't the only sucky thing about my day. I seen my therapist today. Since I'm suffering with Social Anxiety we had to go out and try and face some of my fears. We tried this last Saturday and I refused to leave the house and cried quite a lot. So today we went to a cafe. I shook the whole time and she was talking but I was for sure not listening. All I could think was 'everyone is starring at me', 'they all think I'm a psycho'. Well I wouldn't be surprised if they thought I was a psycho because I am rea...

Hello, So now that I've changed my blog name/display picture they may be some confusion to who I am. I used to be 'My Secret Called Anorexia' and this is now my recovery blog. Wow I say recovery like it's an easy thing. Recovery is always going to be a hard road and I am fighting even if it doesn't seem like that and I'm still losing weight but whatever. I just hope that I don't lose any followers. I am here for you guys and you can ask me anything and I will be here to answer. For a while, my posts are all going to be me updating on what's happened or I could just jump right in there to the here and now. I think I'll do that actually with a little update because well the past is the past and we don't want to focus on that, I need to focus on the future! Well I've finished all my GCSE's, It was actually a month ago that they all ended today. Also a month ago today since I took my overdose. So a month in treatment already, wow. Anyways, I...

Hello skinnies! I'm so sorry that I'v been away for so long. It's been a very long and complicated journey since the last time I posted. Things have changed significantly. 4 weeks ago, I took an overdose and had to be taken to hospital. Now I'm on constant supervision and have to be seen daily by my therapist. I am so close to being sectioned (forced to go into a psychiatric hospital) as I refuse to get help. I was also diagnosed with Bulimia Nervosa. I know, how things change. I'm in recovery now. Well, forced recovery. It's hard and I hate it. I know I should be trying harder as I don't want to go to hospital. I'm not even trying really. Not from bulimia anyways. Depression can go fuck it's self but I need my eating disorder. I'm so sorry for not being here for you guys. I really need to catch up with blogs and get into the rhythm of blogging again because I really do miss it. I think I may delete all my old posts and do my blog a good ol' ...