Skip to main content

Chaos lives in everything...

556 calories today. I feel like a whale. My calorie intake is okay today but i still feel as though i have binged on loads beacuse of one chocolate bar. It was a KitKat that was 106 calories. My only excuse for having it was because my sister said 'Miss i'm not gunna eat today' she ment it in a jokey way but i feel like she is noticing something. Also, the awkward moment when you walk in to a room and know people have been talking about you? Well that happened when i walked in to the kitchen and my mum and sister fell silent. Does it sound like they are suspecting something, or am i just being paranoid?
  Well the rest of my 556 calories was: Fat Free Yogurt- 118
                                                               Small Apple- 50
                                                               Two Vegaterian Sausages- 202
                                                                Carrots and Borcolli- about 80 cals?
                                                                KitKat (Dark Chocolate) - 106
OMG, looking at that now looks like i've ate loads, tomorrow may be better because my cravings were taimed today from the chocolate. My weight hasn't changed any and i have only purged once since the other day, yes it does yet easier.
  I slpet last night!! I was so happy when i woke up this morning to sunlight! But my sleepyness made me do something stupid and i told my mum i had missed a period and she asked if i was pregnant and blah blah blah, and i told her i wasn't. She said that it can be irreagular sometimes but i feel like i have made her more suspicious? What should i do next month when she asks? Do i say it has came even if it hasn't? My period may just be irreagular but i feel like it could be this disease. It couldn't be though because i eat way to much and i am a fat fucking pig. Argh, i am sick of being stressed about this, i should be normal and stress about exams or something.

To stop my self from binging is remembering what i want and that is perfection. I have taken inspiration from Taylor Momsen, i want to be her...
Wish my stomach was so flat...

Wish my legs where so skinny and long...
Chaos lives in my life fullstop. Lives in food, sleep and my family is just chaotic on its own!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sometimes, i don't think i have a problem. Not when i see the girls at school comparing how much their spine sticks out, i feel just normal. But then i realise that it isn't possibly normal to have anxiety attacks about eating a small amount of food. Once i've ate, i can honestly feel the calories turing in to glyceral, holding on to my muscles, my bones burying me deep into some hole of fatness. It scares me so much, my heart starts to pound, tears start to fall. Next thing i'm on the ground doing 100 sit-ups because it is the only way i know how to get the feeling to go away, or purging. I guess i could self harm but that doesn't make any difference to the fat on my body, it's just punishment. I deserve punishment for being to weak. Weakness should be my new name. I can't seem to resist that calorific chocolate, or those salty peanuts. That is it, i can't deal with the anxiety. I completly give up with food. It is not enjoyable. Today was the closed i ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Development of Multi-Professional Occupational Health Services

During the ultimate fifty years a want to lessen the rate of occupational injuries and sicknesses, and to deal with the financial burden that arises from place of job injuries and illnesses onto the tax payer through the externalization of costs, has compelled the business enterprise of the country wide infrastructure to aid employers to fulfill their prison duty in fitness and protection at paintings. This was to a huge volume guided by way of the International Labour Organization (ILO) conventions. The ILO Occupational Safety and Health Convention, No one hundred fifty five (13) and its Recommendation, No 164 (14), provide for the adoption of a national occupational safety and fitness policy and prescribe the moves needed on the national and on the man or woman employer tiers to sell occupational safety and health and to improve the operating surroundings. The ILO OH Services Convention, No. 161 and its Recommendation, No. 171 (33), offer for the established order of occupational fit...
Post a Comment
Read more
I am just the binge machine. The only think i'm good at is gaining weight. I want to eat everything, i don't know why i just do. I'm not even hungry.
Post a Comment
Read more