Skip to main content
I feel awefull. I am off school today because i am so stressed i just can't stand to talk to anyone or think clearly to do work. I broke down last night, i cried in front of my whole family. I was doing maths and i couldn't do it and all i could think was 'failure, failure' I'm sick of thinking about food. Last night i binged. I ate, banana, fish and veggies, bread and butter, ice cream, caramel shortbread, chocolate, weatabix and peanuts. I hate myself. I wanted to purge so much afterwards. I even dreamed that one of my friends purged up her dinner but i couldn't.  I am blamming my binge on my period, yes it came. I hate it. It is the worst time of the month. I hate feeling fat and gross. All i can think about is food. I want to cry and cry and cry. I want to break something in anger. Argh. I hate food.

I want to be vegan. I am already peceaterian. But i want to go the whole way. I just wondered can you get vegan pasta? I live off pasta almost and a small amount fills me up so it would be great if there was vegan pasta.

OH yeah, i'm back up to 118lbs. Not surpised really. I wanted to take a hammer to the scales but i realised that doing that wouldn't change my weight. Only i can do that. I need to take control.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sometimes, i don't think i have a problem. Not when i see the girls at school comparing how much their spine sticks out, i feel just normal. But then i realise that it isn't possibly normal to have anxiety attacks about eating a small amount of food. Once i've ate, i can honestly feel the calories turing in to glyceral, holding on to my muscles, my bones burying me deep into some hole of fatness. It scares me so much, my heart starts to pound, tears start to fall. Next thing i'm on the ground doing 100 sit-ups because it is the only way i know how to get the feeling to go away, or purging. I guess i could self harm but that doesn't make any difference to the fat on my body, it's just punishment. I deserve punishment for being to weak. Weakness should be my new name. I can't seem to resist that calorific chocolate, or those salty peanuts. That is it, i can't deal with the anxiety. I completly give up with food. It is not enjoyable. Today was the closed i ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Development of Multi-Professional Occupational Health Services

During the ultimate fifty years a want to lessen the rate of occupational injuries and sicknesses, and to deal with the financial burden that arises from place of job injuries and illnesses onto the tax payer through the externalization of costs, has compelled the business enterprise of the country wide infrastructure to aid employers to fulfill their prison duty in fitness and protection at paintings. This was to a huge volume guided by way of the International Labour Organization (ILO) conventions. The ILO Occupational Safety and Health Convention, No one hundred fifty five (13) and its Recommendation, No 164 (14), provide for the adoption of a national occupational safety and fitness policy and prescribe the moves needed on the national and on the man or woman employer tiers to sell occupational safety and health and to improve the operating surroundings. The ILO OH Services Convention, No. 161 and its Recommendation, No. 171 (33), offer for the established order of occupational fit...
Post a Comment
Read more
I am just the binge machine. The only think i'm good at is gaining weight. I want to eat everything, i don't know why i just do. I'm not even hungry.
Post a Comment
Read more