Skip to main content

One thing that changed my life.

This is one thing you cannot talk about with friends/family, therefore why this blog has started. This is my life, and i no longer care. All i want is perfection. I am 118lbs and my goal is 105lbs. I binged and purged for the first time ever yesterday, i did it again today. I made this blog to i can tell somebody about it.
  So i woke up hungry, which is normal now. I had some cereal for breakfast and i wanted to cry, so i just got out all the food i wanted to eat. This included: leftover pizza, chocolate, 3 different chocolate bars and ice cream. Turns out these foods are not easy to bring back up. It hurt bad. Pizza was the worst, lumpy and horrible. The chocolate i couldn't get up at all, so i failed there. I also discovered that ice cream is the best thing to bring back up, so this is now my binge food.
  I cried for about 10-15 minuted afterwards. This is one step in my life that i will never forget.
I binged on yogurt today, i purged it up afterwards and it was easier the second time. I relaised that it will get easier, so hopefully i lose weight quicker.
 So today i have ate 674 calories, which is okay i know i could of done better. I still live with my parents so I have to eat a full meal at night, which sucks!!
  Tomorrow is a new day and i am unsure if i will binge and purge or just calorie restrict tomorrow. One thing i do know is that i won't have lost any weight, one thing i want to go down, fast!!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sometimes, i don't think i have a problem. Not when i see the girls at school comparing how much their spine sticks out, i feel just normal. But then i realise that it isn't possibly normal to have anxiety attacks about eating a small amount of food. Once i've ate, i can honestly feel the calories turing in to glyceral, holding on to my muscles, my bones burying me deep into some hole of fatness. It scares me so much, my heart starts to pound, tears start to fall. Next thing i'm on the ground doing 100 sit-ups because it is the only way i know how to get the feeling to go away, or purging. I guess i could self harm but that doesn't make any difference to the fat on my body, it's just punishment. I deserve punishment for being to weak. Weakness should be my new name. I can't seem to resist that calorific chocolate, or those salty peanuts. That is it, i can't deal with the anxiety. I completly give up with food. It is not enjoyable. Today was the closed i ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Development of Multi-Professional Occupational Health Services

During the ultimate fifty years a want to lessen the rate of occupational injuries and sicknesses, and to deal with the financial burden that arises from place of job injuries and illnesses onto the tax payer through the externalization of costs, has compelled the business enterprise of the country wide infrastructure to aid employers to fulfill their prison duty in fitness and protection at paintings. This was to a huge volume guided by way of the International Labour Organization (ILO) conventions. The ILO Occupational Safety and Health Convention, No one hundred fifty five (13) and its Recommendation, No 164 (14), provide for the adoption of a national occupational safety and fitness policy and prescribe the moves needed on the national and on the man or woman employer tiers to sell occupational safety and health and to improve the operating surroundings. The ILO OH Services Convention, No. 161 and its Recommendation, No. 171 (33), offer for the established order of occupational fit...
Post a Comment
Read more
I am just the binge machine. The only think i'm good at is gaining weight. I want to eat everything, i don't know why i just do. I'm not even hungry.
Post a Comment
Read more