Skip to main content

Awkward feelings in this house

I hate being stuck in this house but these people! I've been revising all morning and my dad went on a cycle. He came back and as soon as i came on here he came into my room and started asking if i wanted to have something to eat. I swear blogging is like a jinks or something. I told him i had alreay had something. I made a  roll with some jam, which went in the bin as did some chocolate. I left the evidence of the plate, knife and wrapper lying around so they would believe me.

I hate how awkward it has been after my mum had that chat with me. They are looking at me so weird and observing my every move. It's weird, and very awkward for me anyways. Maybe i should just say to them to stop staring at me. You know that feeling when you walk into a room and everything falls silent because they were just talking about you. Well it feels like that 24/7 since last night.

So today i used MyFitnessPal to calculate how many calories i would have for today. Parents are having roast dinner so i am just having the veggies. Including my ceral that my mother made for me this morning, with loads of milk (left most of it) my intake will be 277. That is unless my mother force feeds me a yorkshire pudding. But i have 'ate' today so i hope she won't.

I can just picture the conversation when my mother comes in. 'what have you ate today?, You know i'm only concerned about you' Argh i seriously want to drop kick her in the face.

I have my maths exam tomorrow. Don't understand anything, so i will be getting a lovely F. So i better crack on revising. I really wonder when i will need vectors in my adulthood but anyway...
Bekah
xxxx
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sometimes, i don't think i have a problem. Not when i see the girls at school comparing how much their spine sticks out, i feel just normal. But then i realise that it isn't possibly normal to have anxiety attacks about eating a small amount of food. Once i've ate, i can honestly feel the calories turing in to glyceral, holding on to my muscles, my bones burying me deep into some hole of fatness. It scares me so much, my heart starts to pound, tears start to fall. Next thing i'm on the ground doing 100 sit-ups because it is the only way i know how to get the feeling to go away, or purging. I guess i could self harm but that doesn't make any difference to the fat on my body, it's just punishment. I deserve punishment for being to weak. Weakness should be my new name. I can't seem to resist that calorific chocolate, or those salty peanuts. That is it, i can't deal with the anxiety. I completly give up with food. It is not enjoyable. Today was the closed i ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Development of Multi-Professional Occupational Health Services

During the ultimate fifty years a want to lessen the rate of occupational injuries and sicknesses, and to deal with the financial burden that arises from place of job injuries and illnesses onto the tax payer through the externalization of costs, has compelled the business enterprise of the country wide infrastructure to aid employers to fulfill their prison duty in fitness and protection at paintings. This was to a huge volume guided by way of the International Labour Organization (ILO) conventions. The ILO Occupational Safety and Health Convention, No one hundred fifty five (13) and its Recommendation, No 164 (14), provide for the adoption of a national occupational safety and fitness policy and prescribe the moves needed on the national and on the man or woman employer tiers to sell occupational safety and health and to improve the operating surroundings. The ILO OH Services Convention, No. 161 and its Recommendation, No. 171 (33), offer for the established order of occupational fit...
Post a Comment
Read more
I am just the binge machine. The only think i'm good at is gaining weight. I want to eat everything, i don't know why i just do. I'm not even hungry.
Post a Comment
Read more