Well i know why i really wanted to binge and gained 2lbs in like a day, i have my period. I really of cried. I hate this, i feel fat and more bloated than ever. I am wearing a jumper that is so big for me i could fit another peron in it, just so i can hide my stomache.
Dispite that issue, i ate 234 calories today. I really believe that breakfast is what effects my calorie intake for the day. If i eat fruit for breakfast i will always eat less than 500. But if i eat cereal everything is just mucked up and i end up eating loads for dinner instead of staying in control.
Today my grandparents came around for dinner. My oma was sitting next to me and my mum of course gave me a huge bowl full. So every now and then she would look over my shoulder and say 'your getting through it' Then when i didn't finish she was like, 'you full now?, that was a lot' I am so glad somebody else has relised the ridiculous portions she gives me. But it also pee'd me off because people were watching me eat. I hate it. I get all anxious and shaky and then when i eat it looks even more ridiculous.
Tomorrow i am going to see Blink-182! So excited. It is my first ever gig, i don't know what to expect but i'm sure it will be fantastic! So when i get in tomorrow i have to make dinner. So think i might make some soup. My mum thinks i'm going to have bread as well, but i won't. But my sister is supposed to be coming up to my house before we go, so i don't know if shes having dinner too. Which means that i will have to eat bread or she will tell the mother i didn't have any then she would flip. Argh i hope she comes when i am in the middle of eating it, so i can say i have already ate the bread. I should really be getting exicted for this concert now, not if i will stay under 300 calories.
I got a new book when i went to Edinburgh. It is called Handle With Care, it is about a girl with brittle bone disease. It is a really fantastic book. But the sister has bulimia, so triggering when i trying not to purge.
Hopefully no bread tomorrow, lets burn some calories at this gig, will be sweating like a pig!
Bekah
xxx
Dispite that issue, i ate 234 calories today. I really believe that breakfast is what effects my calorie intake for the day. If i eat fruit for breakfast i will always eat less than 500. But if i eat cereal everything is just mucked up and i end up eating loads for dinner instead of staying in control.
Today my grandparents came around for dinner. My oma was sitting next to me and my mum of course gave me a huge bowl full. So every now and then she would look over my shoulder and say 'your getting through it' Then when i didn't finish she was like, 'you full now?, that was a lot' I am so glad somebody else has relised the ridiculous portions she gives me. But it also pee'd me off because people were watching me eat. I hate it. I get all anxious and shaky and then when i eat it looks even more ridiculous.
Tomorrow i am going to see Blink-182! So excited. It is my first ever gig, i don't know what to expect but i'm sure it will be fantastic! So when i get in tomorrow i have to make dinner. So think i might make some soup. My mum thinks i'm going to have bread as well, but i won't. But my sister is supposed to be coming up to my house before we go, so i don't know if shes having dinner too. Which means that i will have to eat bread or she will tell the mother i didn't have any then she would flip. Argh i hope she comes when i am in the middle of eating it, so i can say i have already ate the bread. I should really be getting exicted for this concert now, not if i will stay under 300 calories.
I got a new book when i went to Edinburgh. It is called Handle With Care, it is about a girl with brittle bone disease. It is a really fantastic book. But the sister has bulimia, so triggering when i trying not to purge.
Hopefully no bread tomorrow, lets burn some calories at this gig, will be sweating like a pig!
Bekah
xxx
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