Skip to main content
The day after the binge is always aweful. I had chocolate again today so i binged again! I really hate my self for it. I was walking while eating it though. As soon as i got home i did some sit-ups and lunges ect. Then i had to have dinner. Feel disgusting right now!

Skinny girl diet ain't going so well huh? Well my limit is 400 tomorrow so maybe i will be able to control my cravings. I'm not sure if i should blame me giving in on stress about exams. It's weird every time i think about exams i think about food as well. Whats wrong with me!

I was so pissed off at my dad earlier. I told him i ate a whole bar of chocolate and he said you could of got some fruit or something. Then at dinner i was saying that these veggie sausages were dry and he said why don't you have some sauce. I was like well i don't want any. Then he was like don't you eat sauce anymore? Like he was annoyed that i don't eat or something. But then like 20 minutes before he was basicly saying i was fat, then hes concerned i don't eat enough! His head is just as messed up as mine.

I have my history and chemistry exams tomorrow, so stressed. I am not ready for my science. I feel like that is all i have done for 3 nights! I can resit, but i don't want to i want to be perfect first time. So i guess i will be up late tonight revising my little ass off!


UPDATE: Just done 2 hours of hard hitting revison. You would think that now i would like to go to bed, get a good sleep. NOPE. All i want to do is look at thinspo so i don't binge tomorrow. I will NOT binge tomorrow. I need to stop or i will become more ugly and fat than i already am. After these exams are finished my main thoughts are going to be concentrated on loosing weight. I just finished logging on myfitnesspal today and it says i can be 103lbs in 5 weeks time if i still eat like this. It was a horrible amount of food today, how can i loose that much when i am binging. MIND BLOWN!

Bekah
xxx

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Sometimes, i don't think i have a problem. Not when i see the girls at school comparing how much their spine sticks out, i feel just normal. But then i realise that it isn't possibly normal to have anxiety attacks about eating a small amount of food. Once i've ate, i can honestly feel the calories turing in to glyceral, holding on to my muscles, my bones burying me deep into some hole of fatness. It scares me so much, my heart starts to pound, tears start to fall. Next thing i'm on the ground doing 100 sit-ups because it is the only way i know how to get the feeling to go away, or purging. I guess i could self harm but that doesn't make any difference to the fat on my body, it's just punishment. I deserve punishment for being to weak. Weakness should be my new name. I can't seem to resist that calorific chocolate, or those salty peanuts. That is it, i can't deal with the anxiety. I completly give up with food. It is not enjoyable. Today was the closed i ...

The Development of Multi-Professional Occupational Health Services

During the ultimate fifty years a want to lessen the rate of occupational injuries and sicknesses, and to deal with the financial burden that arises from place of job injuries and illnesses onto the tax payer through the externalization of costs, has compelled the business enterprise of the country wide infrastructure to aid employers to fulfill their prison duty in fitness and protection at paintings. This was to a huge volume guided by way of the International Labour Organization (ILO) conventions. The ILO Occupational Safety and Health Convention, No one hundred fifty five (13) and its Recommendation, No 164 (14), provide for the adoption of a national occupational safety and fitness policy and prescribe the moves needed on the national and on the man or woman employer tiers to sell occupational safety and health and to improve the operating surroundings. The ILO OH Services Convention, No. 161 and its Recommendation, No. 171 (33), offer for the established order of occupational fit...
I am just the binge machine. The only think i'm good at is gaining weight. I want to eat everything, i don't know why i just do. I'm not even hungry.