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The photos lie....

I am still 114.6lbs!! I braved the scales this morning, i was dreading it! I honestly jumped up in joy! I can't believe it when i think about it. I drank full coke, had a croissant for breakfast every morning, 2 ice creams, muffins, pizza, spaggettie. The list never ends. And i am still the same weight as i was before i left! I don't understand my weight sometimes. I am going to say i would like to be 110lbs by August. That is a while a way and if i get under that earlier than August i will be extatic!

I was looking through some papers i had lying around today and i found my exam time table. I have my maths GCSE on monday! How did i not know it was so soon! I know i am going to fail, i have to get a B. On my mock maths i got 16 out of 60. SHIT! I just need to chill, take deep breaths and revise like hell!

I got tickets to see Blink-182 on the 19th for my birthday! My first ever concert! This sucks though. I have my Geography exam on the 18th and my Physics on the 20th! Why is this month so effing busy! Well i don't mind it being busy but i wish it was of nice things, not exams!

After coming back from paris there has been loads of photos put on facebook. I hate like everyone! i am wearing vest tops in most photos and my arms are just hidious! Motiviation has just kicked in! I am going to start doing daily exercises on my arms not just abs and legs! I don't understand these photos because in real life you can see my collerbones. Not in these photos, just flab. My neck even looks fat. I swear i don't look as bad as this in real life. But i must, this is just proof i guess!

It is 2 and i have had a banana and currently drinking diet coke. I am going strong. I am going to make a sandwich in a minute and 'eat' it. But not really i will though it out because if i say i haven't had anything all day, mother will flip. So i am just going to leave the dishes out. While i am chucking this food out this is a good opportunity to get rid of the toblerone insident! I am having pasta tonight for dinner and that is 253 calories. So if i count the banana it will be a total of 333 calories. Ha what a weird number. That is half of my limit for today!

I have done some exercise today i did some sit ups, lunges, squats, plank and some bicep workouts. I think that is enough for today, i am still so tired from travelling!

Have you ever noticed anorexia warning photos and it always has a girl not wanting ann apple. I don't understand this because apples are low calories. So why don't they have the girl refusing to eat bread or meat, those are the things i avoid anyways. And why is it always a girl. Boys can be anorexic too. I hate this sterotype of anorexia. I also hate how people think this is a choice and i hate it when people say i hate anorexics. Like its a choice. It's not it chooses you weather we like it or not. I hate it when i really think about what i do to myself, i feel insane. But then the thoughts pass and i am back were i started. I hate people that thinks this is a choice and when people say how do i get anorexia. ARGH! Sorry mini rant i needed out.

Anyways, i think i might go for a walk in the rain. I don't know why. Nobody is in the house and there is nothing else to do but think about how fat i am so why not do some exercise.

Heres some skinny arm thinspo (jealous) :

Bekah
xxx

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