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Day started off, good. Worked out in the morning, was -344 cals. Then I got to my sisters, no mention of lunch. Then we made dinner, so healthy and low cal that I was jumping or joy. Then I had a ridiculous smile when she said 'we have no treats in sorry!'

Horror struck. 'do you want to go to the shop?' Fuck no I don't are you fuckjng insane! I replied 'yeah sure'

Worst mistake ever. This lead to the biggest binge in mg entire life. I hate myself so much. I can't even cut because I'm at here house and I can't purge either.

I need to stay strong this next week. Restrict, restrict, restrict! I want to be minus cals all week. I do not want to be infected with calories any longer. I feel so greesy and full. I also feel plumb and wobbly. Well I feel like shit, I guess things are normal then.
Bekah
Xxx

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I am just the binge machine. The only think i'm good at is gaining weight. I want to eat everything, i don't know why i just do. I'm not even hungry.