I just ate a chocolate cake. I cannot express the hate I have for myself right now. It's weird when you binge. Your like in between ana and normal. There is no way your normal because who eats a chocolate cake, Danish pastry, Kitkat and a twix in one sitting. But there is no way you are anorexic because you are just too fat. So in between, does that mean in between is obese? I think so. So therefore I am obese. I am a fat pig and I deserve to die. I am going to burn calories now, I recon 1000 will do.

Oh I didn't throw out my lunch today, I ate it like I was hungry or something... What a failure, such a weak failure.

Sometimes I wake up in the morning very strong minded about being strong and not cutting, no food no cuts. But then as the day goes on I will eat one thing and automatically think I must cut. Argh why am I so messed up!

Here's a picture of the fat disgusting obese me before I went out on Saturday and the cake I just ate, I actually feel sick looking at it

Bekah
Xxx