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Last night was one of the worst nights ever. We got to the resturant and the meal came. I was so nervous i was shaking, my hands were sweaty i felt awfull. I started to eat, taking little bites, drinking in between. Then the questions started. ,'is that nice?' ,'what is it like?' 'you like mushrooms don't you?' I then started to feel ill and i just wanted to cry, i wanted to burst into tears because i had to eat. I got up and went to the toilet while everyone was eating, because i had to clear my head i had to calm down. I wanted to purge the two bites i had eaten. When i got back to the table everyone started asking if i was okay. I said my stomach was upset and i didn't feel well. It worked! I took another bite and my mother said,'you don't have to force it love' OMG my mother told me i didn't hae to eat! I must of looked like shit because of the nervs. So i didn't eat my dinner last night, yay!

My fast didn't happen today, i had to go to my sisters for dinner so she forced food at me.  I have re-started the ABC diet. Day one is limit of 500 calories. My net is -73. I am in control.

I haven't stepped on the scales yet, i'm not going to until friday. And hopefully i will she the gorgeous number of 110!

Work exerpience tomorrow, i haven't though of a way to get rid of my lunch yet. I will figure it out surely.

Mothers birthday tomorrow, i am praying that nobody buys her a cake. That is an indulgence i really do not deserve.

Bekah
xxx

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