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One more cookie, One more pound

Yes he bought me a tripple chocolate cookie today. That set off a binge, so i ate my sandwich all my dinner and some cake as well. I don't even know how to put in to words right now how i feel so i am just going to list words that decribe how i feel and hopefully it will make sence: UGLY, FAT, DIGUSTING, WOBBLY, GROSS, HIDEOUS, WORTHLESS, USELESS, PATHETIC, INSANE, DEATH, ANGRY, ANNOYED, FRUSTRATED, NOT GOOD ENOUGH, NOT PERFECT, UNLOVED, oh did i mention FAT, FAT, FAT, FAT, FAT, FAT, FAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH THAT I CAN CRY FOR HOURS. WHY WONT I LOOSE ANYMORE WEIGHT? WHY CAN'T EAT ANYTHING WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY? WHY DO I CUT TO FEEL REAL? WHY DON'T I FEEL REAL? WHY AM I NEVER ENOUGH?

To make myself feel even better, my sister has lost 11lbs in two weeks, when i have gained 4. FUCK MY LIFE.

I'm sorry

Bekah
xxx

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