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Well my mother is driving me crazy as usual. When we sat down to dinner today she gave me a smile like she is happiest when i am eating, when i am getting fatter. I hate it how she has to ask me what i have ate when its a weekend. She doesnt trust me at all, well i wouldnt trust me either. But i wouldn't be stupid enough to tell her that i haven't ate anything. I managed to convince my dad who was in the house with me all day that i had ate. 'i had a peanut butter sandwich' I well to my dad and mother i did. I made the sandwich, walked past my dad who gave me 'i'm proud of you' look, took it upstairs, straight in the bin. Oh i also wrapped it up in kitchen paper so when you looked in my bin, you would never be able to tell that it was food. I wish dinner was that easy, just take it upstairs and throw it out. Yesterday was unbelievable. I said i just wanted vegetables for dinner, my dad seemed alright with it, so i was happy that he wasn't forcing me to eat lots. But then when the mother arrived home, i heard them mumbling in the kitchen, 'your supposed to give her more than that, she needs food she isn't eating' But mother i am eating, i 'eat' the sandwich you make me every day, i always tell you what i have 'ate' when you ask. SO WHY ARE YOU STILL PARANOID! What is she noticing when i clearly 'eat' normaly!

Lets forget about her now

I am having a new attitude on life from this month on ward. I am going to be in control, and no matter how i am feeling i will exercise everynight. I found this wourkout that burns 100 calories: 40 jumping jacks, 30 crunches, 20 squats, 10 push-ups. I have done this twice today so that is 200 calories gone! So have ate 549 calories today but with my -200 i am at 349, which is exellent! I haven't lost any weight. I am getting frustrated because i just want this weight to fall off immeaditly! Which is impossible of course. I really want to be 112lbs by friday, if i stay strong this WILL happen. Got news that our family is going out for a meal next friday for my mothers birthday. We were looking at the menu today and i just got so annoyed there was only one vegetarian option! So i am having spinach and mushroom risotto. I wonder how calorie filled that is going to be. Great. Mood ruined.

If anyone has myfitnesspal feel free to add me as a friend: Rebecca_28.
I also have instagram now : wanting_skinny.
Feel free to join me on both!
Bekah
xxx

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