Skip to main content
Yeah i failed. EPICLY. My friend sucks. She forced me to have dinner and many other foods. But really i screwed up as soon as i woke up. I have cake for breakfast. Then i cut, deeper than ever before. I also cut on my wrist for the first time....why am i such a fuck up? So i ate, and ate and ate today.  But i did exerice, my net is 433. But my intake is 1215. Meh, i suck.

So my cuts hurt, they wouln't stop bleeding. I am so disapoined in my self. The same with the binging.

Maybe i should stop saying that tomorrow i will be better, becuase am i ever really? I am with the mother tomorrow so that makes things difficult, to restrict but i think i will go to the gym for an hour! Burn some of my digusting fat off!

Limit tomorrow? 500 i think. That seems so much, feel like i fail if i eat 500, maybe 300? That sounds so much better. I had 300 calories today. You know what also sounds a lot better. I weigh 95lbs. I need to implant my UGW in my head when i want to binge. Think about all the things i hate about my self. stupid/ugly/fat/wobbly/lumpy/giant/idiot/pathetic/worthless/depressed.

I cry in my pillow tonight, for a better tomorrow.
Bekah
xxx

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sometimes, i don't think i have a problem. Not when i see the girls at school comparing how much their spine sticks out, i feel just normal. But then i realise that it isn't possibly normal to have anxiety attacks about eating a small amount of food. Once i've ate, i can honestly feel the calories turing in to glyceral, holding on to my muscles, my bones burying me deep into some hole of fatness. It scares me so much, my heart starts to pound, tears start to fall. Next thing i'm on the ground doing 100 sit-ups because it is the only way i know how to get the feeling to go away, or purging. I guess i could self harm but that doesn't make any difference to the fat on my body, it's just punishment. I deserve punishment for being to weak. Weakness should be my new name. I can't seem to resist that calorific chocolate, or those salty peanuts. That is it, i can't deal with the anxiety. I completly give up with food. It is not enjoyable. Today was the closed i ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Development of Multi-Professional Occupational Health Services

During the ultimate fifty years a want to lessen the rate of occupational injuries and sicknesses, and to deal with the financial burden that arises from place of job injuries and illnesses onto the tax payer through the externalization of costs, has compelled the business enterprise of the country wide infrastructure to aid employers to fulfill their prison duty in fitness and protection at paintings. This was to a huge volume guided by way of the International Labour Organization (ILO) conventions. The ILO Occupational Safety and Health Convention, No one hundred fifty five (13) and its Recommendation, No 164 (14), provide for the adoption of a national occupational safety and fitness policy and prescribe the moves needed on the national and on the man or woman employer tiers to sell occupational safety and health and to improve the operating surroundings. The ILO OH Services Convention, No. 161 and its Recommendation, No. 171 (33), offer for the established order of occupational fit...
Post a Comment
Read more
I am just the binge machine. The only think i'm good at is gaining weight. I want to eat everything, i don't know why i just do. I'm not even hungry.
Post a Comment
Read more