Well the binge hasn't stopped. I can feel the extra fat on me, layers and layers of it. Even my neck is fat, no joke. But I binged this morning and I purged (sorry) and now I feel more in control, maybe that is because I purged. Anyways, I do feel a lot more positive.
Yesterday, though was a disaster. I cried in front of my sister, I told her about how I feel lonely all the time, she said she is there for me and stuff. I almost told her about me cutting myself, but I couldn't. I couldn't face the disappointment. Also yesterday, I fainted. I have no idea why, because I have been binging. So that got everyone worried. Also my stomach has been a pain, I'm not sure if it's because of purging but I'm going I the doctors on Monday. I really do not want to go to the doctors, what of they say I don't eat enough and then my mother is on my back like a hawk. Or what if my blood pressure is low, or they see my scars and send me to a loony bin. So now I am so fucking anxious. Why!
Maybe I will get some pills for my anxiety.
In weight loss news, I think I am going to start the 2,4,6,8 diet. Maybe that will go better than ABC!
Bekah
Xxx
Yesterday, though was a disaster. I cried in front of my sister, I told her about how I feel lonely all the time, she said she is there for me and stuff. I almost told her about me cutting myself, but I couldn't. I couldn't face the disappointment. Also yesterday, I fainted. I have no idea why, because I have been binging. So that got everyone worried. Also my stomach has been a pain, I'm not sure if it's because of purging but I'm going I the doctors on Monday. I really do not want to go to the doctors, what of they say I don't eat enough and then my mother is on my back like a hawk. Or what if my blood pressure is low, or they see my scars and send me to a loony bin. So now I am so fucking anxious. Why!
Maybe I will get some pills for my anxiety.
In weight loss news, I think I am going to start the 2,4,6,8 diet. Maybe that will go better than ABC!
Bekah
Xxx
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